Going through a divorce can be complicated and emotionally tough, especially if you have children. They often aren’t sure what to expect from the process, which makes it even more difficult for them to adjust to the new situation.
If your child is struggling to come to terms with the divorce and you’re concerned about increasing the risk of adjustment problems and mental health issues, these five strategies can make a difference.
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1. Explain the Process Simply
Often, parents attempt to keep information on what a divorce is from their kids, but that can increase their anxiety and fear. Instead, both parents should provide an overview of the process and what it will mean for the future. Try not to bring your emotions to the conversation or to blame the other parent for the situation.
Use age-appropriate language so your child can understand without feeling overwhelmed. Reassure them that both parents will continue to love and care for them, even though living arrangements may change.
2. Foster Open Communication
Your child will likely have many questions about the divorce. They may not be sure whether they can ask those questions or even express what they’re feeling. Most of the time, children are afraid of upsetting adults, so they may keep all of their worries to themselves. Encourage them to share what they feel and to ask the questions they may have.
Listen actively and validate their emotions, even if you don’t have all the answers right away. Remind them regularly that it’s okay to talk about their concerns and that their feelings are normal during such a big life change.
3. Maintain Consistent Routines
As difficult as it may be to maintain while dealing with divorce, children need consistency. They might already be anxious, so changing their daily lives all at once can be further upsetting.
When you need to change their schedule, let them know as much in advance as possible. This warning allows a child to adjust without making them feel like there’s no stability in their lives.
4. Manage Your Anger and Frustration
Family conflict is one of the main reasons that children have trouble with divorce. Keep arguments with the other parent to a minimum in front of your child, and don’t speak ill of them when your kid is nearby.
It doesn’t just apply to your ex-spouse, either. You may finally feel free to address issues with parents-in-law, for example, but you should not do so in front of your child because those relatives are still part of their family. This level of conflict can increase feelings of anxiety and instability.
5. Be Willing to Co-Parent
Except in situations when the court grants you full custody, being ready to co-parent can help your child significantly. If you make it obvious that you dislike the other parent or that you don’t respect them, your child could feel like they have to take sides. That’s not healthy for a kid to do.
Maintaining as cordial a relationship as possible is essential. Don’t prevent your child from seeing the other parent or do anything that might jeopardize their relationship.
Making Divorce Easier on Everyone Involved
To help your child and yourself go through this process, you need to have legal guidance. Being able to communicate with your ex-spouse or soon-to-be ex-spouse via your lawyer can help prevent serious confrontations. Additionally, legal counsel can fight for the fairest deals regarding spousal support, custody, and many other factors.
The divorce process is complicated enough. Don’t make it worse for yourself and your loved ones by going without experienced help from attorneys.
