Divorce

A lawyer that is experienced in family law should be your first choice. You should not look into a lawyer that handles real estate, or even a criminal defense attorney. Always go for a family law lawyer. By doing so, you will get their knowledge and expertise when it comes to divorce law.

6. Hire a Specialist

Depending on the complexity of your case, you may want to hire a Certified Family Law Specialist. A CFLS is certified by the California State Bar as a specialist in that particular area of law. Typically, you can expect a CFLS to charge a higher hourly rate than a non-CFLS.

Again, it may not be necessary unless your divorce involves more complex property division or custody matters.

7. Meet with at Least 2 – 3 Attorneys

Shop around for a competent divorce lawyer. You should not settle on the first one that you find. It can be a good idea to set up meetings with at least two or three other lawyers, especially if you want to find a competent one. You can canvas different kinds of lawyers, to get a sense of their different skill sets. By interviewing many divorce lawyers, you may be able to select the best one out of the bunch.

Many family attorneys now offer a free consultation. Use this time to essentially interview different attorneys. Discuss your case and get feedback. You shouldn’t always go with the attorney that tells you what you want to hear, but rather what you need to hear.

8. Questions to Ask a Divorce Attorney Before Hiring

Here are a few questions you should consider asking during the initial consultation.

A. How much do you charge per hour?

B. Do you have a “blended” rate (If yes, what is it?).

C. How much do you estimate my case will cost?

D. Are you familiar with opposing counsel?

E. Have they handled cases in front of the judge assigned to me? (If a judge has been assigned).

F. Will you be the only person working on my case? (If not, see below).

G. Who will be working on my case? (Get their experience)

H. Can I meet any associates that will be working on my case besides you?

I. During what hours can I call you?

J. What if I need to contact you in the event of an emergency?

K. Will I receive monthly bills?

L. How much is your initial retainer?

M. How do you bill per hour? In 6 minute increments?

9. Be 100% Honest

Attorneys throughout the United States are bound by what is known as attorney-client privilege. Even if you don’t retain them, they are bound by attorney-client privilege regarding whatever was said during the meeting. In California, attorney-client privilege provides almost absolute protection against an attorney disclosing what was said during the consultation.

People have a tendency to paint a one-sided picture during the initial consultation. While attorneys know this, it’s best to be 100% honest from the start. Remember, attorney-client privilege protects you regardless if you retain the attorney.

10. Personality Fit

A. Do you get along?

This is a simple one. Did you enjoy your meeting with them? Did you feel comfortable telling them about your situation. You don’t have to be best friends with your attorney, but it’s preferable to hire an attorney that you get along well with.

B. Did they pressure you to retain them?

If yes, you may want to hire someone else. While an attorney has to make a living, they are in a position of authority and shouldn’t be pressuring you to retain them.

11. Location

As they say, law is local. You therefore want an attorney who is local to court where your case is being heard. A local attorney will know the judges, attorneys, and experts.

Don’t hire an attorney because their office is conveniently located by where you live and/or work. Hire an attorney that is local to the court where you case is being heard.

12.  Law Office Appearance and Professionalism

This one is simple. If their office is dirty and their staff unfriendly, don’t expect that to change after you hire them. If they can’t be professional before you give them your money, they are unlikely to be professional after taking your money.

13. Understand the Scope of the Divorce

Before going down the path of divorce, you should try to understand the scope of your divorce. What are the issues at stake?

• Custody
• Support (child and/or spousal), and
• Property Division

Knowing the contested issues will give you a better idea of what to expect in terms of time, money, and stress.

In Closing

By following these guidelines, you should be able to hire a very reliable and competent divorce lawyer. If you want to go through the least amount of trouble when you are undergoing a divorce, you should look into hiring one. A divorce lawyer’s services could be invaluable whenever you are going through a divorce. And you may be able actually to go through a pain-free divorce if you hire the right kind of lawyer to handle your case.

Do not hesitate to contact the services of a divorce lawyer if you find one that you can trust, you will be making a very good decision if you hire them.

Maintaining a strong relationship with your co-parent is a little like maintaining a strong relationship with your child – it takes patience, perseverance and despite all the planning, trial and error to see what works. Unlike raising a child, one parent cannot send the other to his or her room or take mobile phone privileges away..

So what works after separation or divorce? More than you may realize. Here are 5 ways that our California family law clients have overcome the challenges that come with co-parenting after separation or divorce.

Focus on the important issues to avoid unnecessary conflict

Handle family law cases long enough and you feel like you have seen it all. Parents unfortunately—and sometimes excessively—pick battles that aren’t worth the time, money, or stress they place on their family.

If you and the other parent have different parenting styles, you have to accept it. Yes, that means the children may stay up 30 minutes later at one parent’s house. The children may eat different foods, get to play different games on their phones, or be allowed to finish their homework in the morning, rather than before they go to bed.

Of course, if the different structures within a household begin to negatively affect the children, parents must communicate. We cannot have children getting poor grades, becoming unhealthy due to their poor diets, or become zombies as they stare into their phones and forget how to actually walk and talk at the same time.

Think with your head, not with your heart

It is difficult to be unemotional about your children. You care for them more than anything else in the world. You do not want any harm to come to them. You also want them to excel in just about everything they do.

But you must realize that control is an adolescent illusion. Other factors will affect your children’s lives as you go through a separation and divorce. These other factors may be the other parent’s new relationship, heavier involvement by grandparents or other family members, the children having difficulty adjusting to the new status quo and so forth.

A logical and reasonable approach to problem solving is better than an emotional one. If the other parent is highly volatile, this becomes easier said than done. Co-parenting classes sometimes offers effective solutions, as we will discuss below.

Become flexible as children get older

Compare your child at age 5 and his or her needs and I promise you it will be very different by the time your child is 15. While a predictable parenting schedule usually works best, once a child becomes a teenager, they usually need more flexibility.

Expecting older teenagers to live within the guidelines of every minute of a structured parenting plan without exception may end up causing the children unnecessary stress. And unnecessary stress on the children will inevitably result in more stress for the parents, which will put an undue strain on the co-parenting process.

There are no rules here. If a child is self-parenting or has too much discretion in their choices, communication and co-parenting must go to a higher level.

Streamline communication techniques

When parents are married or otherwise living under the same roof, communication is easier. One or more parents may work but throughout the day, they can speak by telephone, text message and then see each other in the evening. Once separation or divorce happens, that may all change.

Picking a communication method that results in the the least amount of conflict with the most amount of co-parenting return on investment of time.

Some of our co-parenting clients use software programs and websites such as Our Family Wizard or Talking Parents. These websites allow parents to have one place to communicate efficiently and review prior communications, unlike disjointed forms of communication like text messages and emails.

Invest in parenting classes and reading

You are not on your own. Spend some time looking for co-parenting tips online, or contact a local family law attorney in your area for co-parenting classes they recommend. You may be surprised to see how much helpful information is out there.

I know what you may be thinking. The other parent will not attend these with you and the other parent does not care as much as you do. That has nothing to do with you.

The more effective you become at parenting and co-parenting, the better you will become at communication and problem solving. You’ll will be far more empowered to deal with the obstacles that may come your way, including those placed by the other parent. This is one area where knowledge is truly power.

B. Robert Farzad is an experienced family law attorney and licensed in the state of California. He is the president of Farzad Family Law, APC, which is a multi-attorney firm with offices in Santa Ana, Mission Viejo, and Newport Beach in California. This article is not intended to be nor should it be construed as legal advice.